The most rewarding part of being a mom is the immeasurable love you feel for them. Its the excitement on their face when you pick them up from daycare/school, those tight hugs, the "I love you mom", the excitement as they reach those milestones and grow to become their own little person. It's knowing you made this amazing child who is a part of you and their unwavering trust in you, as their parent. My youngest has a rare gene mutation (and nonverbal) and I am undoubtably his person, his safety.

The biggest lesson motherhood has taught me is to never have a plan or expectation. Roll with it. Because life can feed you the exact opposite, like it did with me. You plan for healthy "normal" kids, you plan schooling for a financially stable job, you plan to clean the entire house this Saturday? Absolutely not. I now have no expectation, but I do have hope. Hope that my kids feel they are loved, hope I make a difference to others in my career, hope that I have enough energy to do the dishes.

Most of the 20,000 I would put into savings for my family. Our youngest child has a rare genetic mutation and we are unsure what the future holds for him. Having savings could be very important. For the remaining amount, I could buy a sensory bed for my youngest (because they are crazy expensive), use it as a down payment on a home so that all the kids can have their own rooms, and use it to build a podcast/advocacy website for families who also have with children exploring the spectrum.