Seeing my older children model my parenting style, in how they help care for their baby brother. Seeing how gentle, loving and caring they are to him. Hearing the positive feedback from their teachers over the years. The feedback from my son’s medical team about how well he is doing because I am his mom. Hearing my house filled with laughter, bickering, jokes & prayers, makes all the sleepless nights, discipline, hard days worth it.

No one knows what they are actually doing. I wasn’t maternal until I had to learn how to be a mom from scratch. Motherhood tests you, breaks you, shapes you & forces you to know yourself on another level. I learned that motherhood looks different on everyone. I didn’t have a maternal instinct, I forgot to change my newborns diaper because I wasn’t use to caring for someone other than myself. Now I care for my medically complex son 24/7 & two teenagers. Motherhood is the best hood to belong too.

If we were blessed with that amount of money I would first praise God for always providing. My son said he wants to play the lottery so we can afford to be able to care for our baby. Winning this would be better than hitting the lotto! I would purchase a home. A home that I could renovate to cater to him having cerebral palsy. A home where we can thrive in, heal in, would be such a huge help.